When it comes to Multicultural Dating...

When it comes to Multicultural Dating The Most Important Ingredient is Love
by: Frank Duru

Have you been only dating people from your own ethnic background, to find that no matter what you try, there just seems to be no spark or real passion occurring in the relationship? Are you just about ready to give up on finding a soul mate? Well before you lose all hope in the dating world, you may want to try exploring dating someone who comes from a different culture than you. Who knows, you may just discover that a multicultural relationship is what you need to discover that special spark you've been searching for.

One of the best ways that you can explore your dating options, without having to worry about pressures from friends or family, is to join an online dating community, such as Love Empire, which is designed to bring you close to those who share the same interests as you, regardless if they are black, white, Eurasian and so on.

Love Empire allows you the chance to really explore the beauty of the multicultural dating world with no strings attached, and no outside judgments interfering with your choices. In this online dating community the only opinion that matters when it comes to dating is your own. Therefore, listen to you heart, trust your feelings and use your common sense to decide what's best for you. Besides, the whole point to dating is to have fun, and to enjoy the company of the person you choose to be with.

There is true potential in being apart of a multicultural relationship in today's society, as these relations have really become a more common and accepted part of Western culture. Because of this, blacks, whites, Eurasians and other ethnic groups have more reason to mix together than any other time in history. For instance, it has been estimated that in Britain alone, over 30 percent of black men are either living with or are married to white women, and over 20 percent of black women are living with or married to white men. When you stop to think about that, it's truly beautiful to know that something such as multicultural relationships has grown from a small minority and become common and socially recognized.

Don't be afraid to believe in love and companionship, no matter what others may think of your interracial dating. Remember, the most important ingredient to any relationship is love. No force on this Earth is greater than that of love, and once you find it gender, age, race, and religion are nothing more than small details that add to the beauty of the individual you love.


About the author:
Frank Duru is the author of many different articles. His
works concentrate much on dating related information, such as
"Homosexual Dating - Truth and Connection", “Asian Dating - Respect and Honour” The list goes on! Click here to visit his site loveempire.net.
Find more interracial and Dating related articles there.



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Wearing Sexy High Heels!

Wearing Sexy High Heels!
by: Mike Yeager

Wearing high heels is a way for a woman to accentuate her image and style. While there are different designs and fashions for high heels: from soft and classy to wild and bold, most women agree that adding high heels gives them a little bit of flair and edge that they really enjoy.


Choosing great looking high heels will make each night an evening to remember. There are an amazing variety of high heels to choose from. It doesn’t matter if you’re looking for elegant high heels to match your favorite dinner dress, or you want something with a little more “kick” to it, you can find sleek, attractive high heels on the internet.


Also keep in mind comfort. Yes, that’s right. Even slinky, sexy high heels need to have some measure of comfort. Otherwise you’ll never want to go out in them.

Chose from only the best suppliers of high heels so that you can comfortably find absolutely any style you’re looking for. Today the internet is a great way to shop for your favorite High Heel shoes!


About the author:
Mike Yeager
Author/Publisher
http://www.a1-shoes-4u.com/



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Warning Signs: Your Guy May be a Mr. Wrong instead of Mr. Right

Warning Signs: Your Guy May be a Mr. Wrong instead of Mr. Right
by: Cathi Adams


1. He always make plans at the last minute.

He may have several rods on the fire. You might not be his favorite rod. If nothing else comes along then you pop into his head. Some men just like to keep their options open. They have several choices available and don't want to make the wrong decision or commit to a date too soon in the event that something better might come along. You have to decide if this is something you can tolerate. If you are not that into him either, it may work out perfectly for you (a girls gotta eat), but if you are waiting by the phone this may be sign to move on. I personally would not feel I was being treated respectfully in this situation.I would feel I deserved to be treated better.

2. He's not taking an active role in becoming part of your world.

If a man is serious about you, he will usually make the effort to get to know the people who are important to you. Whether it's your friends or family, he will want it to be known that he is your man and he will usually try hard to make a good impression. This is how some men mark their territory. Hey, it doesn't hurt if everyone loves him and sings his praises to you. If he doesn't care about that, he simply might not care about you. If he does care about you, but doesn't want to be involved in your world... well, that's a whole other story. You come to your own conclusion, but if it were me... I'd rethink the relationship.

3. He doesn't go to events that are important to you.

Once in awhile if he has a good excuse or is ill or something...that's ok. If you see a pattern, it may be time to trade up. Something that is important to you should be equally important to him. If it is not, then it might be a sign that either he is not that into you, he prefers his friends to you, or he is simply too self-centered to stop for a minute and please someone other then himself. If you've really hit the jackpot, he may be a combination of all three. Either way, pay attention to the signs and decide if you feel you are worthy of more.

4. He stays in close contact with his single friends.

If a guy does not part with his single friends, you can be fairly certain he is not going to give up the single life either. Some guys are just players: they have to keep their options open and have a certain amount of emotional distance. Having single friends when you are dating is the best of both worlds. He may continue to get close to you, but his friends are never far behind. They attend events with you and have permission to just drop by at their whim. You don't want your guy to give up his friends, but it may be a sign of trouble if he insists that you spend most of your time together hanging out with his buddies.

If he is not a player, but just very social, make sure your needs are met as well. Hanging out with the buds can be fun, but sometimes alone time is also needed in a relationship. If the situation meets your needs, then great. If not, then decide if this is something you can get used to.

5. Night time is the right time... all the time.

If he loves the nightlife and the nightlife loves him even after you have been dating for a while, this might just be his way of life. If this is your way of life, then you have just met your soulmate. I wish you well. However, historically when couples first start dating they tend to go out a lot, stay out late, and dance the night away. Once you settle in, though, and get closer in the relationship, the pendulum swings to quite nights at home and romantic dinners. If this is where you are hoping the pendulum would swing, then it may be a good time to express your needs and see if he can meet them. Don't ask or expect him to change if that is who he is and what makes him happy. Accept the fact that you want different things. It may be time to send this one back and explore the other "fishies in the sea".

6. You never see him more then once a week (ok... sometimes twice), even after you have been dating several months

Is he super busy or are you play toy number 7? He might have one for every day of the week, and you only can see him twice if numbers 1 through 6 are busy. Hey, it happens ... mostly because he has been allowed to get away with it. Just don't be naive and think he is sitting home 6 nights alone. If this is acceptable to you, then by all means enjoy your time together when it happens. I guess you will certainly never get sick of each other. If you need more see if he can (or more importantly will) meet your needs. If not...get those shoes on and start walking.

7. You only have his cell number after you have been dating each other for a more then a month.

If it's been months and you haven't asked him about that...allow me...he's either living with someone else or he doesn't want you calling his house in case he has another woman over. The cell phone he can turn off or set to vibrate... How perfect is that? When you are into someone (and not dating other women too) you want her to feel free totally comfortable calling you anytime. It shows commitment and openness. If he is not showing these signs outwardly, it might be an indication that you are dating a very busy man. If it feels like a duck and quacks like a duck... yup, it's a duck. This little trick was used on me, and I must say I didn't catch on for quite a while. I was too naive...I'm all grown up now.

About the author:
© 2004-2005 Cathi Adams.

Cathi Adams is the author of "Divorce Secrets: What Every Women Should Know." This invaluable resource provides steps to ensure financial security to woman faced with the possibility of divorce.
Visit her web site for a FREE report -What You Absolutely Must Know Before You Even THINK About Getting A Divorce: http://www.DivorceDefense.com



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Tips For Hosting a Party!

Tips For Hosting a Party!
by: Royane Real

If you have never hosted a party before, it can be a little intimidating the first few times you do it. You may feel more at ease by hosting small parties until you become more experienced.

The first step is to decide what kind of party it will be.

Will it be formal, or informal? Large or small? Indoors or out? Who will you invite? Will you serve food and liquor? Are you celebrating any special occasion? How much money do you want to spend? How much space do you have?

These are just some of the decisions you need to explore before you start issuing your invitations.

Once you have decided on these matters, pick a date, time, and location, and draw up a list of people you wish to invite.

Depending on the custom in your social circle, you can issue formal written invitations, invite your guests by telephone, or ask them in person.

Whatever method you choose, it's a good idea to issue your party invitations at least two or three weeks in advance.

One of the most important aspects of throwing a party is to make sure that all your guests understand exactly what kind of party it will be, and what is expected of them. Be very clear about the exact time, date, and location of the party.

Here is a checklist to help you make sure your guests know what to expect:

-Is the party formal or informal?
-Is it a costume party?
-Does the party have a theme?
-Are you supplying food? Will you provide a full meal, or just snacks and appetizers?
-At what time will the food be served? Will it be a formal, sit down meal? Or buffet style?
-Are you supplying alcoholic beverages? Do you want people to bring their own beverages?
-Do you want the guests to bring anything, such as food, appetizers, party favors, or liquor?
-If you have any unique requests, make them very explicit. For example you may not want anyone to consume alcohol or smoke on the premises.
-Do you want people to bring their children, or leave them at home?
-Does the party start exactly at a certain time, or is the starting time approximate?
-Is attendance "come and go"?

A few days before the party, telephone everyone on your list to remind them again about your party, and to have them confirm whether or not they will be attending.

Parties can be very simple or they can be quite elaborate affairs.

You can create a memorable splash without spending a lot of money.

Use your imagination to turn your party into a unique event. You can get lots of great creative ideas from magazines, television programs and books to help you plan interesting activities, food, and décor.

Don't get too carried away--the focus should always be on creating a warm, enjoyable experience for your guests. You are not creating a theme park.

One of the easiest kinds of parties to host is a potluck party. In this type of party, you are not saddled with the overwhelming task of preparing all the food yourself. You simply ask each person or couple you invite to bring some food for all to share.

If you are a very good cook, you may prefer to do all the food preparation yourself. Howevery, you will still benefit by asking a friend to help you get everything ready. You may want to start all your preparations one or two days in advance.

Before the party starts, be sure that the house is reasonably clean and that you have enough chairs, plates, cups and glasses for everyone. Have enough containers available for trash. Pick out some music selections that your guests will enjoy.

You will have much more fun at your own party if you let go of the idea that everything has to be perfect. Parties are not about perfection, they are about fun. Things that go wrong may seem disastrous at the time, but they may seem very funny later.

Try to be at the door to greet each of your guests as they arrive, and thank them for coming. Let them know where to put their coats. Tell them when and where the food will be served and show them the location of the bathroom. Introduce any new arrivals to the people who are already present.

If any of the people at your party seem to be especially shy, be sure to introduce them to others who will talk to them. If you notice someone who seems to be alone a lot throughout the evening, you can ask that person if they have been introduced to everyone at the party.

Sometimes people who are socially awkward will leap at the chance to help you with some party chores. You can ask them politely if they would be willing to take around a tray of appetizers to the guests, or help pick up empty glasses.

Try to get to each guest several times throughout the evening, and don't play favorites, ignoring some, and monopolizing the time of others. If at all possible, try to speak to your guests as they are leaving and thank them for coming.

Who knows, you may enjoy hosting a party so much that you will do it again and again!

About the author:
This article by Royane Real is taken from her new book "How You Can Have All the Friends You Want – Your Complete Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends" Sign up for her free newsletter filled with Life Improving tips! http://www.royanereal.com





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The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women

The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women Now Available in Paperback: - Author Marc Rudov Picks Up Endorsement from Susan Shapiro Barash

by:
Marc H. Rudov, author of The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth (TM) (ISBN 0-9745017-1-9), announced today that his popular book is now available in paperback and ready for worldwide shipments. Formerly, it was available in eBook format. In addition, Rudov announced the endorsement of Susan Shapiro Barash, a distinguished, New York City-based professor and author of books about women’s issues. Readers can learn about and purchase The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women at: http://TheMansNoNonsenseGuideToWomen.com.

Los Gatos, CA (PRWEB) April 5, 2004 -- Marc H. Rudov, author of The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth (TM) (ISBN 0-9745017-1-9), announced today that his popular book is now available in paperback and ready for worldwide shipments. Formerly, it was available in eBook format. In addition, Rudov announced the endorsement of Susan Shapiro Barash, a distinguished, New York City-based professor and author of books about women’s issues. Readers can learn about and purchase The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women at http://TheMansNoNonsenseGuideToWomen.com.

“I am pleased at the response of readers to this groundbreaking book and happy to have endorsements from noteworthy professionals like Susan Shapiro Barash. Susan’s endorsement is a powerful testimonial to the message and principles of my book. I have received orders and invitations to book signings from the major book chains, and will be announcing more about this in the coming weeks,” said Author Rudov. “Despite writing this book for men about women, I am continuously amazed at the demand from women, who want to learn more about how men perceive them. And, now that the paperback is available, more men and women can discover the secrets of getting along with each other in the modern era,” continued Rudov.

Susan Shapiro Barash endorsed The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women by saying: "In this timely book, Marc Rudov has uniquely captured the essential ingredients of success between men and women, and has expressed them in a lucid, entertaining manner." Barash, an established writer of nonfiction women's issue books, has appeared across the USA on television and radio programs. She is a professor of Critical Thinking/Gender Studies at Marymount Manhattan College and a member of the Women's Leadership Board at the John F. Kennedy School of Government at Harvard University, where she mentors graduate students.

Contrary to popular belief, Author Rudov maintains that men and women are from the same planet but, unfortunately, have been socialized differently and programmed for conflict. He counsels men that the only way to succeed with women is to remove their layers of socialized behavior and find women who have done, or are willing to do, likewise. The Man's No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth, which is available for $17.95 on http://TheMansNoNonsenseGuideToWomen.com, teaches them how. Both men and women have been buying the book and validating its principles.

The book’s Website also contains a helpful advice column for men and women, Dear No-Nonsense Advisor, as well as Rudov’s articles, radio interviews, and scheduled events.

About the Author

Marc H. Rudov, an investment banker and business consultant residing in Silicon Valley, California, received his formal education in engineering and business. He obtained his vast informal training in relationships with women through over a decade in the dating world after his divorce. In addition to his book, Mr. Rudov wrote the articles “The Golden Rule Dictates Your Sex Life” and “Five Myths About Women.”

“How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth” and “Life with her needn’t be an endless game of chess” are trademarks of MHR Enterprises.




About the author:
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The Male Orgasm

the male orgasm
by: stacy dhanilal


In the past years sex has changed from the simple sex between couples either married, engagae or dating. It was just the simple forplay of touching and kissing of the lips and neck. Over the years it evelpved into more foreplay where men and women can find that sensual feeling from just the tongue and the fingers.It even changed in the way of not being something of true feelings and emotions and love. Now it is mainly about pleassure and ability to perform at your best. Now it is a simbol that is shown as an important aspect of every human being who know about the aspects of sex and also who have the ability of prforming this act.

In this century of sexually explicit ideas and products the simple orgasm was mainly intended for the female body. Where most products onthe market give rise to satisfying a woman's body. The human body has many different nerve points and the all are aroused in sexual acts. The feeling a woman gets when she has an orgasm.

Now in my own sexual encounters i am what u would call a blosoming rose of this sexuall influenced world. As a woman i speak for all womaen when i say having and orgasm is a feeling of utter satisfaction. The only way i can explain it to you is the feeling of every nerve in your body pulling at the same time which cause u to make that sunsual noise that turns a man on.

I have found the new wave of the woman's sexual ability it does not involve any sex but im tell u now this will revolutionise the hold woman will have over men. There is a spot i have found on the male body that can give him the feeling that women get when they are experiencing an orgasm. Bellow the stomach close to the hip bone use your tongue and lick jently, don't stop and he will experience the most devine feeling ever he will have no controll over anything not even to stop u. This i call the male orgasm.




written by STACY DHANILAL
email: sweet_spice19@hotmail.com
date: 29th march 2005.

About the author:
a girl from the little caribbean country of trinidad exploring her life at every angle



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The Logic Of Females - Or Lack There Of

The Logic Of Females - Or Lack There Of
by: Jack Crow

Many males complain that they don't understand females. Many females complain that they don't understand males. We also have the classic saying that men are from mars and women are from venus. Physically both sexes are very similar and are of the same species so what is the problem?

After much reading on the subject, there seems to be a general consensus that there is a fundamental difference in the way men and women think. The bottom line is that men think with logic but women think with emotions. This is why a male gets so frustrated with a females sometimes irrational behavior.

Additionally, a female rarely says directly what she wants. Instead, she will use reverse psychology by asking the male a series of questions until she gets the desired answer. If she does not get the desired answer she will take the huffs and give the male 'the cold shoulder treatment'. She thinks this will alert the male that something is wrong and he will do what she wants….with out actually telling him |:(

Meanwhile the male is left dazed and confused as to what happened. After which an argument is usually required to get to the bottom of the problem. The whole situation could have been avoided if the female had stated directly what she wanted in the first place.

When asked why they do this, most women will either answer that they don't realize they're doing this or they simply don't know why. Many an argument could be avoided if what came out of a girls mouth was the same as the thought that was processed in her brain. But alas, it is not.

The classic example is a couple driving along a road. The female is hungry so she says to the male 'would you like to get something to eat?' The male replys 'no thanks I'm not hungry at the minute' and keeps driving. She then takes it thick because she didn't get the answer she was looking for. If she had said 'I'm hungry, pull in at the next shop so I can get some food' he would have done just that without question.

This all stems back to the fact that a female thinks with her emotions, not logic. This is why a male cannot understand a females rational. Males cannot read between the lines. They are not psychic or clairvoyant and they need everything spelled out to them in black and white.

Males often also complain that females are moody, have mood swings and show irrational or erratic behavior. This is especially apparent in times of stress, emergencies or significant events where body chemicals and emotions are highly stimulated.

Because a females behavior is affected by her emotions and her emotions are affected by her body chemistry and her body chemistry is in a state of flux from one month to the next, it can only be expected that a female would exhibit erratic behavior that is a mystery to a man whose body does not go through a constant monthly cycle of change. Re-read that last paragraph guys if it went over your head.

Unfortunately this behavior is genetically built into a females body. So sorry guys, you are going to have to live with it and while you can't get rid of it, you can at least be aware of it and try to understand it.

So in short, guys need to try to interpret better what a girl is saying, as it may not be exactly what she means. Girls need to try better to say exactly what they mean, if they want their guy to do what they want, without playing head games with them. Weather this is actually possible (as it goes against our genetic programming) is another case entirely.


About the author:
Jack Crow is a freelance writer and part time webmaster. When he's not building web sites he's checking out new dating sites that appear on the net.
To see what he thinks of them visit:
http://www.sexy-american-singles.com



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The Final Solution for Dating

The Final Solution for Dating
by: Steve Sokolowski

I run a blog where I discuss the topic of the many games people play in the dating arena. I've posted hundreds of articles, many of which point out many of these troubles. Even if you haven't read the blog, you probably are aware of some of these schemes. While I wish it were easy to sum everything up into one neat, overlying problem, it's not that simple. Let me point out just a few of the issues.

For one, there's a definite lack of respect in dating nowadays. People don't even care about their partners enough to treat them as they deserve to be treated. Gossip, ridiculously high expectations, and rejections by ignorance are only some of the examples in this area. Grandparents are always carrying on about how today's generation has such a lack of respect. They talk about how, in their day, people cared about others and banded together through difficult problems. Why do they talk about these things? Because they're right! Through every activity in which I've been involved, I've encountered this problem. I'm tired of working for a hundred hours on a video project when the president of the organization receives but doesn't bother to even reply to your E-Mails asking him to review it. I'm sick of being ostracized from groups because I don't care to participate in their petty disagreements. And I'm exhausted after people expect me to work to death in volunteer organizations!

There are always exceptions to this rule, and I'm sure that there are many people who do have a great deal of respect for both their peers and their elders. Unfortunately, the majority, or at least the majority with the most influence, simply don't care.

Second, nobody is honest with themselves, let alone anyone else. Dating has turned into a torrent of backstabbing of which even Mark Burnett would be proud. Asking someone out is nearly impossible, because the gossip about it has already spread to a thousand people before you make the move. Then, when a rejection occurs (even if it's not rude), the rejector spreads rumors around to all his/her friends that cause them to completely ignore you, refusing to invite you to parties or even to initiate conversations with you. The biggest insult is that even if you asked point-blank, you'd still never get a truthful answer as to why such harm was directed towards you.

As if what occurs after a rejection isn't enough, people attempt to steal others' girl/boyfriends. One day, things are going well, and the next you find yourself wondering what happened to the relationship that was forming - that is, until you notice that person spending a lot of time with who you thought was your best friend. No explanation is offered, not even a "good-bye."

Third, people are not looking for someone who spends his or her time working to get ahead instead of getting flat-out drunk, who doesn't curse at or ignore his or her mate, and who actually makes time for whatever is occurring between them (whether it be a full-fledged relationship or just plain sex). They say they're looking for these things, but in reality, they're attracted to people with the attributes described above. "Confidence" is not the answer to the equation. Assuming they both possess the same level of "confidence," the above-described person would win every time over the "warm, caring, and intelligent" (wo)man that people claim is the ideal mate.

The list of problems goes on. You might be intrigued to hear that while the problems seem innumerable, I propose they can all be rectified with the simplest of solutions. There's no danger involved, nobody has to lead radical changes, and it doesn't involve an "impossible" fight against biology.

I simply propose for men to stop asking women out.

Not for the rest of your life, but for just a short time, say, a month. It's not impossible, and you won't have to do it as much after the month passes. While there are a few (rare) exceptions, the vast majority of women don't ask out men 50% of the time. Women do have the advantage in dating, and it's time to level the playing field. Sure, talk with women as friends, and if someone initiates a conversation with you, then definitely reciprocate. However, let the woman ask you out if she's interested, no matter how attractive she is to you.

Some women have never asked anyone out in their lives. It's no wonder why these women continually treat men like they're lower beings. If they had to put up with the rejections that most men do all the time, I guarantee that they would have more respect for men. Women would no longer put up with moving from guy to guy based on who was interested in her at the moment. And spreading gossip about potential romantic interests certainly isn't going to help one's prospects.

People need to realize that humans, for all their ancestry, are not monkeys or horses or rabbits. They're humans, who can think and act for themselves.

Men have so much more capacity in the dating arena than constantly looking for sex at all costs, if they would only exercise it. It's time to stop being prisoners to so-called "biology." Women have the same urges men do, and they should do half the work, not 10% or 20%.

There are a lot of "seduction communities" on the Internet that teach men how to "seduce" women. I don't know of any similar organization that teaches women how to impress men with the same fervor.

There's my proposal. I don't think it's hard to implement. Imagine if all the men even at one corporation or university decided to ban together. Laziness won't be a problem, becausenobody even has to do anything. It's time to change our distorted culture. All I'm suggesting is to promote equality. Is that such a bad thing?
About the author:

Steve Sokolowski is the editor of "Games are for Children" (http://www.shoemakervillage.org/games), a dating blog that implores people to rise above the pettiness present in today's dating world. He can be reached at awteen@shoemakervillage.org.




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The Cyber Lothario

The Cyber Lothario
by: Kathryn Lord

Are you writing to someone who is romancing you off your feet? Does this guy seem to know just what to say or write that gets you a step or two further down the garden path?

Perhaps more dangerous than the notorious Internet rapists and murderers are the Cyber Lotharios. Maybe you know one. Smooth as silk. Seduction is his native language.

More dangerous, because these guys (well, maybe there are girls too, but I am more familiar with the guys) are GOOD.

These guys are the Internet equivalent of a Bill Clinton, if Bill Clinton hadn't gotten caught. They are the cyber version of handsome -- they write beautifully, know just what you want to hear and tell you. They POUR it on, and for a thirsty woman, it is nectar from the Gods.

These fellows post on dating sites indefinitely, waiting for the unsuspecting newbie to the dating site. You might contact him, he might contact you, but like a used car salesman, he knows a pigeon when he sees one.

Then slowly, softly, but determinably, he has his way with you.

How do you tell if you have one of these guys on the wire? What if he is a really nice guy, really meaning every word he says?

Well, one thing would be if you find yourself agreeing to things that you never would if you were in your right mind. Particularly if that has to do with sex. Or maybe money.

These guys make manipulation feel like a warm bath. You just slide right in and it feels delicious.

But there is a certain vagueness, particularly about past relationships, and perhaps about future plans. These guys may reassure, but they also will leave themselves a way out.

How can you tell?

Well, one thing you can do is ask for a relationship history. Then pay attention to how he responds, as well as what he actually says.

Does he groan and moan about doing the job? Is he grudging in what he tells you? Or is he open and serious, understanding what you are asking and why?

Does he seem to have trouble remembering his own history, what her name was, what order the different relationships came in? Is he reluctant to divulge, or does he sound like he is fudging?

Does he seem to be moving you fast towards a romantic getaway? Maybe he makes plans for the two of you to meet, and reserves only one room. Is he heavily sexually suggestive and titillating? Does he ask questions like "What kind of lingerie are you wearing?"

Even though a new and legitimate relationship can be highly sexually charged, a guy who is seriously interested in you and a possible future with you will be protective and understanding of you and your feelings.

If you feel antsy, pay attention. If your hormones may be doing your thinking, put on the brakes. Better to let this dangerous Clark Gable type swim away than to be left flat and busted.

Kathryn Lord © 2004 All Rights Reserved

About the author:
Kathryn Lord, Romance Coach / Helping Singles Find A Sweetheart!
eBk: "Find A Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women"
Purchase ebook at: http://www.cafeshops.com/findasweetheart
Want more? Get my complimentary enewsletter *eMAIL to eMATE*
Subscribe at http://find-a-sweetheart.com/newsletter.html
www.Find-A-Sweetheart.com/ email: Kathryn@Find-A-Sweetheart.com
4870 Oak Ridge Road, Vicksburg, MS 39183 / Ph.601-619-0030



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The Breakdown of Relationships and Why They Fail

The breakdown of relationships and why they fail
by: Jack Crow

All females need sexual tension from a prospective or existing partner to consider having or continuing to have, a physical relationship with them. Lose this from the start and you will become mayor of the friend zone.

Definition of sexual tension - Cocky and funny. A loud mouth, walking the thin line of winding her up without overly offending her. Posing as a challenge and not doing everything she says without a bit of give and take.

No sexual tension = a dead relationship.

There are 4 general types of relationship.

THE FRIEND ZONE RELATIONSHIP

Familiarity without sexual tension. (Usually the male not opening his mouth to challenge a girl he REALLY fancies.) This leads to complacency in that the female becomes numb to the presence of the male (because he doesn't stimulate her emotionally through lack of communication) and associates him as a social partner only. This leads to, the friend zone. The male is permanently seen as a non sexual friend only. Once a female has made up her mind that you are a friend and she says the F word. It is the kiss of death for any attraction you have for her. You will never have a physical relationship with her from this point onward and will spend the rest of your time with her, hearing how she got off with this great guy at the weekend. All the while you're dying inside. When you eventually tell her how you truly feel and she rejects you. She will sit and wonder why you are not answering the phone any more as you were a great listener to her problems.

PURLEY PHYSICAL ATTRACTION

Purely physical attraction. After a while a lack of sexual variety leads to complacency in both parties. Boredom / lack of sexual tension makes both parties become fed up with each other quickly. This leads to a breakup of the relationship and both parties go their separate ways. This type of relationship can be prolonged if both parties are willing to explore their sexual fantasies and keep variety in the bedroom. The long term feasibility of such a relationship is still in question.

PHYSICAL ATTRACTION & SEXUAL TENSION

Physical attraction + sexual tension equals love at first site. Female tries to change male to her ideal image of a man. The male resists, lack of conformity equals continued sexual tension which equals a long lasting relationship viewed as love in a love hate relationship.

PHYSICAL ATTRACTION & SEXUAL TENSION VERSION 2

Physical attraction + sexual tension equals love at first site. Female tries to change male to her ideal image of a man. The male conforms and no longer poses a challenge. Female gets bored as there's no sexual tension any more. Relationship starts to slip. Male thinks everything is ok as he is doing everything she wants but in reality, she has lost all interest in him. It is at this point that she will either stay with him in a purely partnership arrangement or leave him as soon as a better male comes along that stimulates her emotionally.

THE OVER POSSESSIVE PARTNER

The above scenarios do not take into account over possessive partners that bully or smother their partners to the point that they leave or attack them. This is known in some circles as 'a bunny boiler'. So named after the film fatal attraction where an obsessed Glenn Close cooks the family's pet rabbit in a revenge attack for Michael Douglas spurning her advances after a brief sexual relationship.

Usually over possessiveness stems from the insecurities or lack of trust in one partner. (They may have been hurt in the past and are determined to not let it happen again, to the point where it becomes an obsession.) Or they're a total psycho, run for it!

Relationship number 4 is the most common. In general you will see it while at the shopping center. The husband pushes the trolley and every time the wife speaks, it's either yes dear or no dear. The husband has conformed to do what the female requires in order to have a quiet life. The female thinks she is superior, in control and has mastered the art of man handling.

In reality she is destroying the mans animal attraction to her. She is slowly numbing him into an affair with someone else. Little does she know it but as he no longer poses a challenge to her, she is slowly becoming numb to him. As his animal instinct is tamed and he finds her attractive less and less, they will suddenly, one day, find themselves in a loveless marriage.

They will at this point be co-existing in a purely partnership based relationship for the sake of survival or because of children. This has lead to relationships breaking up after 30 years of marriage and both partners wonder why their marriage is so lifeless.

It has been described as 'the spark fizzling out'. In reality it is the lack of sexual tension or sexual variety. Remember, a female thinks with her emotions and a man thinks with his…..err….physical attraction mechanism.

If a male no longer stimulates her emotionally, she will seek it elsewhere. Equally if a female is no longer sexually attractive to a man, he too will look elsewhere.

Don't get me wrong ladies, some things can't be reversed, like aging and the passage of time, but there are ways to grow old and still be sexy to a male partner. A boring sex life is a recipe for disaster and being sexy is more than a lack of wrinkles. If in doubt, it's time to start experimenting in the bedroom to see what pushes his and your buttons. Explore each others sexual fantasies and do things you only dream about at night while your partner is asleep. You'll be surprised how quickly your relationship bounces back as a result.

If you have any sense you will heed my warning weather you are male or female, married or just starting a relationship. Try to keep the sexual tension alive between the two of you. If not, you will be on the next train to dumpsville wondering why he or she slept with someone else.


About the author:
Jack Crow is a freelance writer and part time webmaster. When he's not building web sites he's checking out new dating sites that appear on the net.
To see what he thinks of them visit:
http://www.sexy-american-singles.com



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The Appeal of a Bad Boy

The appeal of a bad boy
by: Rion Williams

So what is it about the 'bad boy' that attracts women so strongly to them?

In case you did not know, a healthy traditionally raised woman would run as far away as she can from a bad boy because she knows that he will bring too much drama, pain and hurt to her in the long run. In a traditional society that is not influenced by popular American culture, the bad boy is seen as an outcast of society (unless idolized from American cinema).

They're only real chance used to be with slummy women or those who were on the outside of society as well. Now of course the bad boy is glorified, as he is often the answer to a lot of our so called 'bitches' (in a respectful sense of those that define themselves as such) and their need for social validation on their level and also to keep them in check in the more traditional male-female relationship dynamic.

It is important for you to realize that bad boys do have a lot of drama, and troubles. Traditional women, I have seen personally stay away from these kinds of men.

I think if you can be a natural man and yet still possess some of these characteristics will still been in control of them, you will be able to also appeal to a woman's social persona as well. This means doing things like being a little bit cocky, teasing her, enforcing your independent boundaries and generally not giving a damn.

Today's women are so desperate for the underlying male-female relationship dynamic where the man is really the one in control, that they will often settle for bad boys and loser type jerks only because they treat them in the traditional dynamic of not letting them get away with crap.

A traditional woman does not have to try to get away with crap, because she doesn't have crap that she is coming with to get away with. She is MUCH simpler and this is not a bad thing. This is why a normal healthy nice guy can easily attract a traditional woman anywhere in the world (as I've done dozens of times) and be fascinated how everything just is 'natural'.

It is this 'cultural differentiation' especially that allows me to bring a great level of insight to the table. If you are a nice guy or a great catch, you should not want to become a bad boy just in order to get women because that may be all that you are a seeing that is going on and is not the only solution (not to mention unhealthy if you really aren't like that).

A bad boy is successful with our (American) independent, hot women because he does not let them get away with crap. He knows how to naturally trigger the physiological and emotional response mechanisms of attraction in her because he is playing a strong male role that she is biologically forced to respond to.

There is a high amount of leverage in these women that will either work for you or against. She can be repulsed by one man and that same energy, even more strongly attracted to another. Maybe you have seen this in front of your very eyes.

Nothing has really changed when you look beneath it all, because our women find that none of their 'real' counterparts are acting like men anymore, so they end up going with the bad boy or someone who they know is not healthy to be around, yet is the only one that is giving her the natural triggers of uncontrollable attraction which is irresistible to her.

My good news for you is that you do not have to become a bad boy, like I said, you can actually be a pure natural who is above the level of player status when it comes to attracting women and being successful with them.

Nice guys still have a chance but only if they really understand the concepts which I cover in my "Men's Guide to Women".





About the author:
Rion Williams offers a free newsletter subscription on how to have 'natural success with women' and dating.

You can sign up for the free newsletter just by visiting his website 'http://www.mensguidetowomen.com/E_player.htm'
You will receive some free bonuses as well and you can then read about his 352 page unabridged
'Men's Guide to Women' instantly downloadable eBook. It will change the way you think about dating and women forever.





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TenTips On How To Get That Guy

TenTips On How To Get That Guy
by: Roy Barker

1. Show the Guy That You Are Vulnerable

Men need to feel needed, yes it may be from the dinosaurs but it does still apply. I do not mean that you have to be weak, give in to whatever he wants, and put up with any way he treats you I am not suggesting that. Many men like strong women, but strong women who put out that they do not need a guy often end up alone. It is fine to be strong but try and temper it with "ok here is a situation where I can be vulnerable". Men have a strong protective instinct, though
they may rarely show it.

2. Let The Guy Think That He Is Doing The Hunting

Men love the thrill of the chase, it is in their genetic makeup, it is definately a male thing. Play a little secretive and hard to get, and men will flock like bees to honey.
That means having a sense of your own worth, men hate women who are clingy. They are not props, they hate boosting a womens ego all the time. In fact men
want a real balanced person. Make him feel he wants to make the first move and do the chasing. Women learn to manipulate men at a very early age. By the age of five most girls have learnt how to wrap their father around there little finger.

3. "Let The Guy Think That He Is Mr Right Rather Than Mr Right Now!"
Stroke their egos, they are not a ticket to go out and pay all the time, let them know that you really value them as a person.

4. Laugh At His Jokes
This is imperative that a man feels he is funny and witty and is an extension of three, they are valued for their sense of humour. Where would we be in life without
laughter.

5. Never Call Him After The First During The Next Week
If a guy is interested in seeing you again, trust me he will call you in the first week. He will do this even if he says he has to go out of town. If you call him, you come
across as over-anxious. You appear desperate, and are more likely to scare the guy off. It is OK to ask him out the first time but not the second.

6. If You Are Dating Online Get A Professional Photo Taken At A Studio
When dating online you have to market yourself to be successful. A professional photographer will know how to get the best shots out of you and make you look your very best.

7.Don't Go Out With Your Girlfriends In Large Groups
Some men feel that approaching a women in a large group is intimidating. Go out in smaller groups, and make it easier for an interested guy to approach you.

8. Approach Him
Be confidant enough to approach him and ask him if he wants to go for a coffee. If you're not sure whether he is gay or not, then approach him anyway.
If he gives you the brush-over then you have lost nothing, but you can pat yourself on the back for taking the initiative, most men will be flattered by this.

9. You Like Him But He Is Ignoring You
Guys are insecure, and they want to feel liked, and popular. Start ignoring him for a while, not rudely, you don't have to make an issue out of it. Just look right through him, and he will start to be piqued. There is no guarantee here he may not take it any further, it may just boost his confidance, but you have not lost anything

10. Don't Appear To Be Desperate
Desperation is a real turn off for men. It is an indicator that a woman is going to start to get clingy, and that is not good. Appear yourself and show a friendly interest.

About the author:
Publisher & Author: Roy Barker. More related information and recommended guides can be found at www.datingxlence.coma site renowned for it's reviews on the top dating sites and that's only after they have screened out the others. These are also accurately categorised for your ease of use and selection. By the way, this is a free service.




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Secrets to Getting Married and Living Happily Ever After

Secrets to Getting Married and Living Happily Ever After
by: Terry Hernon MacDonald

As a young girl, I developed a dim view of marriage.

Most of my friends' mothers tiptoed around their fathers. When I was nine years old, my friend Karen's aunt actually sat us down and gave us tips on how to get a man and keep him happy (it didn't escape my notice that she made dinner, mopped the floor, and changed diapers while her prince slept on the couch. I never even made eye contact with the man; he remained comatose for the length of our acquaintance).

As I got older, magazines offered advice on how to get a man to commit and how to decipher his feelings (expecting the guy to express them would be out of question).

I got the message: To be a success in life, I needed a man. That they were a lot of work was the price I had to pay for being a woman.

Like most little girls, I was sold from birth on the wedding fairy tale: the giant ring, the dress, the honeymoon in the sun. But, while the wedding looked like fun, life beyond it looked like the job from hell.

So it's no surprise that when I got into my 20s I attracted the wrong men. They all feared commitment or had some sort of emotional entanglement that prevented them from starting a real relationship with me.

After many years and much soul searching, I discovered that the men weren't the problem. I was the problem. I attracted men who could not commit because I didn't want to commit. Deep down I believed marriage would bore me at best, kill me at worst.

But, still, a small part of me did want to get married and wanted to believe that lifelong happy relationships were indeed possible. I determined what I wanted in a relationship, what would make me feel secure, at peace, and bring me joy. I wrote down a list of the qualities my perfect husband would offer.

Since I had a history of dating men who disappointed me (liars, cheaters, guys who just stopped calling or showing up), I knew what I qualities I didn't want. I wanted somebody loyal, loving, reliable, successful, and fun (most married people are bored out of their minds, so 'fun' was key for me).

I wrote an affirmation: "I am happily married to a loyal, loving, reliable, successful, fun man" and wrote it 25 times a day with feeling (putting on a CD that really got me going facilitated the process).

Within a couple of weeks, I felt a shift inside myself. I believed that I could marry a man who'd make me happy. I believed I could be myself without worrying about him cheating on me, abandoning me, or smothering me to death.

Within several months I attracted the man I married. Fifteen years later, we are still in love and having fun. Yesterday, May 2, we celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary.

You can attract and marry the man of your dreams, too:

1) Determine what you don't want

2) Determine what you do want

3) Manifest it by focusing on it and by writing an affirmation about it

5) Say it out loud while you're in the shower or some other private place (no need to blurt it out in the company break room)

4) Keep it up for at least 30 days. Be consistent

5) Notice the changes within yourself

6) Notice the changes in the men you attract.

It worked for me, and it will work for you. Go for it.


About the author:

Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Visit her website at http://www.marrysmart.comCheck out her blog at http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com



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Online Dating Tips

Online Dating Tips
by: Frank Duru

Finding your soul mate online is a wondrous thing; however, there is the potential for danger. While you have access to a wide variety of people, you also have the impending complication of meeting those who are not what they seem to be--there are some tips of the trade, though, to help you become more discerning with your choices. These tips can help you stay safe and stay away from men and women who are not what you’re looking for.

Tip One: Start Slowly. There are all kinds of people on the Love Empire; not all of these people, however, will be right for you. Take your time--if you meet someone and start up a conversation, proceed with discretion. The person at the other end may not be who they claim to be; take your time and watch for inconsistencies or odd behavior. If something bothers you, simply walk away. Do not rush into any relationship without thinking first.

Tip Two: Protect Your Identity. One of the benefits of dating online is that you can get to know someone based solely upon their personality and not deal with the more social conscious real world. It is up to you to decide when and how you reveal who you really are--be careful, however. If someone receives your personal information, they could use it against you. If a member tries to pressure you into giving out your last name, email address, home address, phone number, place of work or any other identifying information, then walk away.

Tip Three: Use Common Sense. When speaking to someone through the Love Empire, do not throw good judgment away simply because this is an online service. What may sound wonderful on the screen can be masking something not so wonderful in reality. Use caution and do not fall in love with the first profile you read. Take your time and go through all of your potential choices. Then, after you’ve researched enough, go from there. It is a common occurrence for people to “fall in love” after only one conversation. Do not do this! Retain your common sense and view online dating as you view real-world dating. You do not have to love every profile you read.

Tip Four: Request A Photo. If you meet someone, chat with them, and see the beginning of a relationship forming, then you might want to request a photo. Often, this can tell you more about the person than any email or instant message. First of all, it can keep them from lying about their looks; secondly, you will know if you’re attracted to them in the physical sense; finally, if they continually refuse to send a photo, there might be a reason other than embarrassment. Proceed carefully.

Tip Five: Pay Attention. This is, possibly, the most important tip you could follow. In an email, any one can sound wonderful--in real life, it’s much more difficult. When you are becoming involved with someone on the Love Empire, watch for ‘red flags’, or odd behavior. For example, if during an online session, your date suddenly becomes angry or aggressive toward you and then, won’t explain why, you should take this into consideration. If one sentence could upset him/her in such a way, it might be cause to worry. Also, pay attention to any attempts to pressure or control you. For instance, if your date is constantly making demeaning comments about you, there is a strong chance that he/she is trying to manipulate you into feeling inferior; therefore, you become an easier target to control. Finally, watch out for inconsistencies with information that your date provides you or evasive answers to questions. If your date displays any of the following problems, it would be well-advised to reconsider your relationship:

1. He/she provides inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance, marital status, profession, employment, etc.
2. He/she refuses to speak to you on the phone after you have established an
3. online relationship; or, he/she will only speak on a strangely specific
4. timeframe.
5. He/she will not answer any direct questions about themselves. They will
6. either give you a vague answer or will simply turn the question back to you.
7. He/she will only provide photos of large groups of people, making it
8. impossible for you to find them.

Online dating can be an exciting and fulfilling part of your life; just remember
to follow these tips and act accordingly.


About the author:
Frank Duru is the author of many different articles. His
works concentrate much on dating related information, such as
"African Dating - Pride and Ambition", “Religious Dating - Traditions and Values” The list goes on! Click here to visit his site loveempire.net.
Find more interracial and Dating related articles there.





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Online Dating Made Easy and Safe

Online Dating Made Easy and Safe
by: Jeff Lakie

As technology becomes more ingrained in our everyday lives, more people are turning to the Internet for social purposes. And over the past few years, this has become a more accepted form of communication. Friendships are formed and relationships made online.

But just how much trouble is it to join the online dating sites? And is it safe?

A few years ago, there was significant attention placed on those who turned to online dating. Consumers were warned that the sites were unsafe, used by predators who were looking for victims. But increased attention to security and awareness on the part of those using the services has made an incredible difference.

Many of the dating sites are now offering members ways to talk anonymously at first, then allowed to meet via web cam in private chat rooms. With the web cam options, it's more difficult to hide things like age.

Some sites also screen members personally. While the sites make no claims that they've gone so far as to perform background checks, they do often verify addresses and other information. Again, this isn't a full-fledged safety net, just one more precaution toward making online dating safer.

As more people are becoming completely comfortable with online communication and more people have access to Internet at home and at work, online dating sites have flourished. There are many sites that have very short sign-up processes and others that require you to answer lots of questions.

You'll typically be allowed to register for free, though you have to pay dues in order to gain access to other members' contact information. This is how the sites are able to boast that they have thousands of profiles available. Since it's free to sign up and post your information and photo, many people take that step with no intentions of going further.

If you're considering joining an online dating service, check out the membership requirements first. If security is important, take time to read what steps the dating service has taken to ensure the safety of its members.

Above all, take time to protect yourself. Remember that not everyone is honest. Just as you could meet a person on a park bench that offers lies about his or her life, you'll meet some people at online dating sites that are also untruthful. But you may also meet the love you've been looking for.


About the author:
Jeff Lakie is the founder of Dating Resources a website providing information on Dating





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Online Dating for Dummies

Online Dating for Dummies
by: H M Hovis

Whether you have been dating for years, getting back in the game, or just starting out, you could always use a bit of dating advice. Not the kind you get from your mother, but rather the kind that actually might get you past the first date, on to the 2nd and perhaps on to a happily ever after.
So you have decided to date and you are thinking about the "online dating" thing? Well, why not. To be cliche' everyone is doing it! In today's action packed, hustle, bustle world, who had time or energy to meet the traditional ways. Online meeting has become a norm, and is gaining in acceptability.

Writing Your Profile Many online dating services offer assistance in writing your profile, if you are not a good writer then this may be something you should consider. Before you sit down to write your profile, find out how others see you, so that you can more adequately describe yourself as you are seen. (You don't see yourself as others do - probably) The best way to do this is ask around. You don't have to tell anyone why - just ask for one word that describes your looks, work habits, home environment etc get a list and go from there. Chances are you will come closer to a good description of yourself that way than any other way.

To Post a Picture or Not To Post - That is the question Well are you photogenic? You know even if you aren't there has to be a picture somewhere of you that looks good. Find it! Whoever said a picture is worth a thousand words knew what the were talking about. And let's face it - this is a shallow society - we are attracted by looks in addition to pleny of other things - but looks are definetly high on the list. Not putting up a picture leads to suspicion of whether you are attractive or not - what's wrong with you! Put it up there.

Free Online Dating Services, Trials, and Charges You get what you pay for - most of the time. Most of the online dating services charge. It's a huge market - just doesn't seem like it when you are actually trying to find a date does it? The best thing to do is find a trial service, or a service that allows you to wink or send eye contact or a smile to another party to let them know you are interested. So if you both just send that and then it goes nowhere you have to decide - are they worth the fee to join the site to find out more. If you do decide to join, keep in mind that most of these sites won't let the other person respond without also having a membership. That does not mean however that you can't send them an alternate method of contacting you. There is nothing more frustrating than being contacted by someone you would like to write back to, but no way to do that unless you also join. Is it worth the fees? Some site editors are not too bright either and you can sneak little ways into your profile that allow future interested parties a way to find you. Such as saying something like - "I have the same name where the little yellow man is" would tell someone that your username at AOL would be the same as your username on the profile and they might then contact you without you either one buying a membership.

If you choose to post on more than one site, try to spice each profile up a bit differently. No one wants to read the same thing twice, and what you might have missed out on saying in one profile may be the thing that catches someone's attention on another profile. Use different pictures too.

What to be Cautious of Online meeting has allowed us to move a bit faster than traditional dating. Your inhibitions all fall down when you are sitting behind a computer screen and you can do or say or flirt however you want and it's not as difficult as it is face to face. What that usually leads to is assuming you know someone better than you normally would before you've ever had that first date - but beware - their inhibitions were down too and they may have come across a lot greater than they really are.

Do You Take Down Your Profile When You Meet Someone? Well - did they take down their profile? If they did, and you are serious about being exclusive, then you should take down your profile. (on all the sites you have it up on) But if they haven't and you aren't then leave it up. Think how many fish swimming around in the sea might nibble on your bait while you have it out there!

Perhaps getting online and flirting and maybe even meeting up with someone is the push you need to get out more and enjoy life. Maybe it leads to happily ever after. Whatever it leads to enjoy it and yourself!

You can site specific advice and more information as well as recommended sites by visiting my website at www.themarketradar.com

About the author:
H M Hovis holds a degree in Mass Communication with an emphasis in Public Relations, and currently works in the casino industry.



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Online Dating - Is It Taken Too Seriously?

Online dating. Is it taken too seriously?
by: Tyler Casselman
When I look at allot of the online dating services I notice one common trend. People take it very seriously into finding there true love. I find it absolutely amazing the amount of people who are looking for there absolute perfect match.

There seems to be so many profiles out there who tell people exactly what it is they want from a partner. Its as if there an owner of a company and there trying to fill a certain job position. They then take and list there requirements and what they expect from a person. If they don't meet those requirements then they think there unsuitable. I think that's crazy.

Dating is about getting to know people and then seeing if you enjoy spending time with them. You will often meet people who you thought you would never date and end up having a strong relationship with them. I'm not saying that it isn't good to have certain expectations. It is good to have an idea of what you want in a partner. I'm just saying you need to have an open mind.

So what should you put in your profile?

Intsead of a whole big list of stuff like this is what I want and this is what I expect, you should have a touch of personality. Sure you will have certain expectations. You need to personalize them, so they just don't sound like your looking for a perfect person. If you like to joke around then add some little funnies throughout your profile. You need to show off your personality. Show people how you see the world and that you don't take everything so seriously.

When you go to a nightclub you don't just go to meet someone, you go to have some fun too. You need to look at online dating in the same way. Have some fun with it and don't take it to seriously. You will make things much easier on yourself.

About the author:
Tyler Casselman is an online dating expert. He owns the popular site Online Dating Home. www.online-dating-home.com
In order to use this article on your site you must provide an active link back to Online Dating Home.




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Mike's Dating Story

Mike's Dating Story
by: devlyn steele
(Black Couch Tales)

Mike was completely stressed when he walked into my office last week. Taking a long drink of water, he slumped onto my black leather couch and sighed.

“Coach,” he said. “I need to get out of my relationship.”

Mike is 38 years old and a successful screenwriter. Mike was also perpetually single with a long history of failed relationships. His situation is typical: he wasn’t necessary afraid of something long-term, he just could never find “the One”. Mike could never stay in a romantic situation for long before moving to something new.

Today’s session was no different. Once again he found himself feeling stuck with someone he didn’t want to be with. He told me his story.

“I met Lexy about a year ago. I was at a bar and there she was. She looked awesome and had a great smile. I was attracted and I just had to get to know her.”

For Mike it always started with physical attraction. He continued, “We really hit it off. The next thing you know, we are heavily involved. Things were great at least…the first six months were a blast…really fun. I think I gained ten pounds though. My buddy calls it the Love Diet. You stop going to the gym, order in, and stay in bed day and night.”

Mike’s enthusiasm began to fade as he said, “After the first six months things slowly started to change. We started to get to know each other outside of the bedroom. The more we talked, the more I realized that I had nothing in common with her. And to be honest…this is sort of rough to admit…I wasn’t interested in a thing she had to say.”

“Our relationship became tense at worst and polite at best. Little things started to bug me. The way she chewed her food drove me insane. The way she laughed…it was this high-pitched squeal that I think only dogs could hear…it made me nuts.”

He sighed. “I’m getting on her nerves too. Last week Lexy nearly shoved me out of bed because she said I was snoring too loud.”

Mike straightened up and locked eyes with me. “We need to break up and it’s been a long time coming anyhow. I’m okay with that. But what I really need to figure out is: what the heck is going on in my relationships? It’s always the same. Is it me? Am I meeting the right women? I’m 38 and I still haven’t figured it out.”

Dating often starts as a chance meeting where physical attraction leads us to relationships we “end up in” rather than a choice we stop and think about. We get caught up in the excitement of meeting someone new. We give in to the rush!
But eventually the “chemical reaction” of attraction begins to sputter. The excitement fades and we often find ourselves with a person we don’t know that well. In Mike’s case, he realized he was with someone he couldn’t stand to be around.

This leads us to online dating. There are aspects of character and personality that will create a bond beyond the initial stage of attraction, and online dating allows us to go beyond the chance meeting, beyond the physical attraction. We can search out potential matches that we might never meet in our everyday lives. With the click of a mouse we have access to a wealth of information: interests, hobbies, passions, lifestyle, beliefs, and more.

Online dating allows us to approach dating from an entirely different angle. Instead of getting to know someone from the outside-in, we can establish a relationship from the inside-out.

Does this “more informed” method your romantic life lead to a more compatible and satisfying relationship? Unfortunately the answer is “No!”

Just like physical attraction alone isn’t enough to carry a long-term relationship, having things in common alone won’t satisfy you. You still need physical attraction. You may find tons of people online who will seem perfect. Then you meet face-to-face and you know in a split-second that this person is not for you. You never really know what will happen until you meet.

But imagine if you are attracted! The reason you decided to meet in the first place was because you have things in common and your personalities meshed. You’ve already laid the foundation to take your dating beyond the physical.
.
What online dating really offers is opportunity to find and communicate with lots of people with whom we share common interests and qualities. It’s not the holy grail of dating, but it’s an excellent way to increase your chances of finding something long-term.
You may still have to go on many dates to find your match, but that is why the Internet is so exciting! There are always new people to find, and always the opportunity for that next date.

Mike is currently online dating and loving it! I encourage you to give it a try for yourself.



About the author:
About the Author...
Devlyn Steele ("America's Leading Life-Coach") is a Relationship Coach, Life Coach. A Columnist as well as radio host. Devlyn has also developed ToolsToLife.com As a Relationship-Coach Devlyn has created the OnlineDatingKit.com which teaches Internet daters the skills they need to find their perfect matches on their own and offers a complementary e-book at no cost on “How To Choose The Right Dating Site For You.”





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Men Collect and Shelve Women Trophies

Men Collect and Shelve Women Trophies: Author Marc Rudov Blasts Unilateral Pursuit in Article About The Golden Rule

by:
Marc H. Rudov, author of The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth (TM), has published a new article, “The Golden Rule Dictates Your Sex Life,” that outlines the hazards of men unilaterally pursuing women. Basically, the traditional courting roles -- man as hunter and woman as trophy -- impose an unhealthy imbalance that obviates a peer relationship, which is the cornerstone of true mutual respect and a satisfying sex life. Like it or not, relationships adhere to the “Golden Rule of the Business World”: whoever has the gold makes the rules. The article is available from the book's Website: http://TheMansNoNonsenseGuideToWomen.com.

Los Gatos, CA (PRWEB) January 5, 2004 -- Marc H. Rudov, author of The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth (TM) (ISBN 0-9745017-0-0), has published a new article, “The Golden Rule Dictates Your Sex Life,” that outlines the hazards of men unilaterally pursuing women. Basically, the traditional courting roles -- man as hunter and woman as trophy -- impose an unhealthy imbalance that obviates a peer relationship, which is the cornerstone of true mutual respect and a satisfying sex life. Like it or not, relationships adhere to the “Golden Rule of the Business World”: whoever has the gold makes the rules. In a stereotypical situation, a man, by default, leads and bankrolls the courting process. Consequently, he feels ownership of the process and the woman. Notwithstanding the obvious hazards of such an arrangement, most romancers are resigned to it. The only solution, which requires that both men and women reject years of socialization, is mutual pursuit. A companion piece to the book, the article is available for downloading from the Media & Events page at: http://TheMansNoNonsenseGuideToWomen.com.

“Unilateral pursuit is an obsolete, destructive, demeaning practice for both the pursuers and the pursued, making both parties unhappy,” claims Rudov. “In the classical chase, man plays the aggressor and bounty-seeker, and, by design, woman plays the target, prize, conquest, and acquired asset. This power ritual made sense when women could not vote, get credit, own property, or be president of Brown University or CEO of Xerox. But, it sure as hell doesn’t make sense in our modern world. So, the woman who insists on being pursued, the passive trophy, must understand that she is yielding power to the man, who becomes the one with the gold and, therefore, the one who will and should set the rules. In professional sports, after collecting one trophy, the athlete has but one mandate: shelve it and win the next one. Men and women who play the unilateral-pursuit game always seem to experience the same phenomenon,” explains Author Rudov.

Continuing, Author Rudov admonishes women: “Quite simply: If you don’t want to be treated like a trophy, don’t act like one. Be proactive, contribute gold, and share control.” Rudov adds, “Men and women should accept only peer-based, reciprocating relationships that begin with mutual, simultaneous pursuit.”

Contrary to popular belief, Author Rudov maintains that men and women are from the same planet but, unfortunately, have been socialized differently and programmed for conflict. He counsels men that the only way to succeed with women is to remove their layers of socialized behavior and find women who have done, or are willing to do, likewise. The Man's No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth, which is available for $17.95 on http://TheMansNoNonsenseGuideToWomen.com, teaches them how. Both men and women have been buying the book and validating its principles.

The book’s Website also contains a helpful advice column for men and women: Dear No-Nonsense Advisor.

About the Author

Marc H. Rudov, an investment banker and business consultant residing in Silicon Valley, California, received his formal education in engineering and business. He obtained his vast informal training in relationships with women through over a decade in the dating world after his divorce. In addition to his book, Mr. Rudov wrote the article “Five Myths About Women.” Contact Mr. Rudov at: info@themansnononsenseguidetowomen.com

Success in Romance on Planet Earth is a trademark of MHR Enterprises.




About the author:
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Love Relationships with People From Other Cultures

Love Relationships with people from other cultures or countries
by: Vince Appleby

So, do relationships with people from other countries work? Well yes of course they do, but there are both advantages and disadvantages to consider when thinking about starting a relationship with someone from a different culture or country. It all depends on what you expect from someone else and whether they can give you what you expect - and whether you can meet their expectations too, of course. Here I'm thinking specifically about dating relationships, that is relationships that can lead to long term commitments such as marriage.

To begin with, whether any relationship anywhere works or not depends first and foremost on the individual personalities of the people in the relationship, and not on their culture or country. However, culture and country can have an influence on the relationship. For example, if someone from a particular culture has certain expectations of a marriage relationship (which expectations come from the way they have brought up and what they have been led to expect from such a relationship) then that may affect the relationship, however slightly. On the whole though, relationships depend upon the people in them, not where those people live or the country they come from.

Making a relationship with someone from another country or another culture can be very exciting. If you are a man you may feel as if you are dating all the beautiful women in that country, or perhaps one of the finest examples of a beautiful girl which that country can offer. A word of caution here. Relationships work at the individual level, so your relationship must be based on how well you get on with the personality of the individual woman concerned, and not the fact that she is either a) beautiful or b) from a certain country, culture or background.

Nevertheless, even allowing for this, a relationship with someone from another culture or country can be extremely exciting. The cultural background, visits to the other country, the language of the country and learning to speak it, the different habits and ways of doing and saying things that people from other cultures have are all very exciting indeed. A relationship can feed off these differences for some time, even for years, but as mentioned above, in the end the relationship must be founded on the same things all successful relationships are founded on, such as trust, mutual respect and understanding.

So what of the disadvantages of a love relationship with someone from another country or cultural background? The very obvious one, but something that still needs stating, is that if your relationship is to exist on a face-to-face level then one of you must live in the other's country - as simple as that. Aside from the practical problems of securing visas, resident status and so on, there are important emotional concerns here. Living in another country is exciting for the first year or two, but what happens when homesickness grows to the extent that you've had enough and just want to go home?

No matter how much you love your husband or wife, that longing for the home country will still be there. Of course this factor is reduced in some people and magnified in others, depending on their personal history and what their home country means to them. Some do find though that after a few years the ongoing background strain of living in what will always be at root an unfamilar and alien country - however much they admire or love it - can become too much. Holidays and visits back home may not be enough (not to mention the ongoing cost of them) and the distance from family becomes too great. Any existing cracks in the relationship could then lead to separation and a return to the home country, whereas such 'cracks' might possibly have been successfully healed in a situation where both partners are living in their home country.

Sometimes we have no control over who we begin a love relationship with, it seems to just happen when we meet someone new and blossoms quickly out of our control. But if you are actually planning to find and begin a love relationship with someone from another country or culture -- because you love that country and find it an exciting place to visit, for example -- then you must go into this process with your eyes open, fully aware of the pitfalls as well as the advantages.

You must be prepared to live abroad if that's the way it turns out, limiting yourself to visits home and the possibility of not seeing family or close friends for long stretches at a time. And you must really be prepared to do these things, not just tell yourself that you are, because you are in love. Love changes over time, the initial excitement changes into a deep-rooted mutual respect, a different type of love, in the best relationships. In others it simply melts away. So be prepared, go in with your eyes open, be clear what your family and roots mean to you before you are prepared to leave them. But also be open to the great rewards a love relationship with someone from another country or culture can bring.

About the author:
Vince Appleby writes for International
Pen Pal .com a site for pen pals and for those seeking a love relationship, at http://www.internationalpenpal.com/



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Love At First Sight?

Love at first sight?
by: Rion Williams

Yes, men think so...or is it 'lust' at first sight? How can a woman or man 'really' know?

If a woman thinks it is 'love at first sight', she may have found an incredibly 'hot' guy who matches her ideal social persona 'catch'. If this guy actually knows how to be a natural, all women will want him and she will have to fight with others to 'keep him' (I can teach you to be this man).

Otherwise most of them appear to be quite boring because they try to impress her and don't 'get it'. But when dealing with 'love at first sight', yes it might be, but then longer term dynamics start to sink in and kind of spoil it.

Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder, I mean, beholder.

'Love at first sight' is usually only perceptionally based if not in its entirety. No one can match up ideally to one person's expectation of who they are or who they should be. Once you find out more about them, you're going to be disappointed in what you thought they were. See how selfish we as people really are?!

Eventually you go through the hardships of a 'real' relationship and very very rarely will everything work out perfectly where the people are a real match (at least in our highly developed, opinionated, individualistic cultural society).

You are only throwing your perception or ideals on who you think that person is or should be (I have done this a lot in the past). We want a person to be the ideal match to what WE think they should be. Most often if not all the time, we find out they are not actually what we idealized and then are a little disappointed. A real relationship is going to take a lot of work and a lot more work than two 'simpler' people.

If you can spark attraction shortly after you meet a woman, there is a more realistic chance she will feel deeper emotions for you than her social persona (of what states what she says she wants) and she will often forgive your other misgivings as long as you understand natural attraction.

This is actually very generous of her because now, guys (way) below her level physically actually have a chance. The process of attraction is slightly different for men and women.

Men will often instantly disqualify women for a sexual relationship based on their looks (ahem), while women keep an open mind to see who knows how to make them 'feel' the feelings that they respond to so powerfully physiologically and emotionally. They are interested in a mans character attributes because that are things that can be of interest for the long haul.

These feelings have a biological root which she cannot choose or control. This is why an average looking guy who 'get's it' can have more of a chance than a good looking guy who easily proves himself wrong to her right away.

She will resent that most of her counterparts do not 'get it' yet but will be open to starting something with a man who finally can just 'lead her through' the natural process of attraction...then often sex 'just happened' or she got 'swept away'..this is the way it is supposed to be and that she fantasizes about (and reads in those sappy romance novels).

Don't be thrown off by what a woman says she wants if you are not that social reflection of her consciousness yourself, she is programmed biologically to react to men who are true naturals with her or who display aspects of being a natural. Do not let that stop you. Her biological inheritance (when in tandem with a true natural man) will override ANY social programming she may have, as long as he maintains true congruency and doesn't 'screw it up'.

If you are a natural you probably won't screw it up when you are reaching that part of her (there is much more leniency here). If you are 'walking on egg shells' by trying to be 'qualified' by her social persona, it's virtually a guarantee you'll screw it up even with any small move. Take the very ending of 'Boat Trip' where Roselyn Sanchez says to the wussy Cuba Gooding, Jr. character, "Ok, but you BETTER not screw it up."

Sure the movie ends with a kiss but who has the control here? Whose reality is he in? Love at first sight, but he is based in the wrong paradigm of 'being' that he WILL screw it up because of the power dynamics and several other factors (she is in control by far).

In fact, you will almost put aside the entire notion of 'love at first sight' because it's too romancey for you (although you may secretly keep that dream alive); but you understand reality a little more, that different relationships with different women are going to give you different experiences.

Of course you may be aware of lust at first sight with women you see most everywhere you go, but you really have to get to know her more to find out who she is, otherwise it is all just perception.

If you can develop yourself to look as good as you can and get your internal paradigm and life straight and clear, then you can naturally accelerate the process of attracting women and starting things with little effort. Your focus should really be on developing yourself and living in a natural paradigm, while denying all of the perceptual B.S. that is going on. Be an interesting and intriguing man and improve yourself; HAVE something to offer women who are lucky enough.

Your 'love at first sight' from their point of view only happens if you match their social ideal (and traditional ideal of Prince Charming) and then know how to take everything from there...then all women will want you. You do not have to be Prince Charming..that is another article, but remember how you relate to her says everything. She needs to be turned up like a volume knob and you have to interact with her to spark the process of sexual attraction and her interest will grow in you...through time, may lead to infatuation, love, great respect, devotion, passion, etc. from her.

It is all in how you relate to her so don't pay too much attention to having to have Brad Pitt looks, with Soros' bank account...that's the same as you wanting to date a supermodel, except you probably have a better chance than she does to meet your ideal because there are so few men left who really get it and are a great catch in their own right (with some nice social status to boot).

There are countless beautiful women. The advantage and favor is in YOUR hands. There are few men left who are awesome catches AND who know how to deal with these women. Make women want you just by being your true self at all times; an interesting, funny, great guy and know how to take it from there (I can help you there as well).





About the author:
Rion Williams offers a free newsletter subscription on how to have 'natural success with women' and dating.

You can sign up for the free newsletter just by visiting his website 'http://www.mensguidetowomen.com/E_player.htm'
You will receive some free bonuses as well and you can then read about his 352 page unabridged
'Men's Guide to Women' instantly downloadable eBook. It will change the way you think about dating and women forever.





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Latin Dating - Beauty and Romance

Latin Dating - Beauty and Romance
by: Frank Duru

Like any other society, Latin culture is one that is embedded with traditions, values and celebrations. Of all the different attributes that are associated with Latino's, there is no question that passion and romance are considered to be two of the most intriguing.

If you are of Latin descent and are interested in seeking a relationship with another Latin man or woman, there are many ways you can go about creating the perfect romantic dating experience, that both you and your date should be able to enjoy with no strings attached.

The following are a few ideas of how you can create romance on your dates:


Dinner - Dinner is always a perfect dating choice, because you can make it as casual or romantic as you would like it to be. It all depends on where you go, and the way you act during the meal. If you are interested in being romantic at dinner, listen intently to what your date has to say, take his or her hand from across the table, look them in the eyes and be honest when you express yourself. However, you should keep in mind that romance can be interpreted as an invitation to sex, or even make the other person feel uncomfortable if they are interested in taking it slow. Therefore, be a tasteful romantic and know when to draw the line. For although you want to capture your date's interest, you don't want to make them feel uncomfortable in the process.


Dancing - Dancing is a great way for you to have fun, while still getting to know and remaining close to your date. Going to a club, or attending Latin dancing is how you can keep the romance freely escalating without having any further expectations hanging in the air.


Walking - You would be surprised to discover the power behind a nice leisurely walk. There is something truly magical about making nature apart of your date. Although not everyone is fortunate enough to have a beach close to them, there is sure to be parks, waterfronts and old fashioned neighbourhoods awaiting your footsteps. Holding hands and talking on an evening stroll, watching the sunset in silence, and gazing up at the stars, are just some of the ways you can use simple beauty to add to the romantic atmosphere of your date.


Due to the fact that traditions are an important part of Latin culture, dating someone of your same ethnic background is usually a plus when it comes to family relations, especially if you are interested in perusing a serious relationship with your dating partner.

Nevertheless, despite your dating intentions, there are many ways you can make your dating experience a beautiful time that you can truly enjoy who knows where a little romance can take you.


About the author:
Frank Duru is the author of many different articles. His
works concentrate much on dating related information, such as
"African Dating - Pride and Ambition", “Religious Dating - Traditions and Values” The list goes on! Click here to visit his site loveempire.net.
Find more interracial and Dating related articles there.



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Is 'Sex and the City' Setting You Up for Loneliness?

Is 'Sex and the City' Setting You Up for Loneliness?
by: Terry Hernon MacDonald

A couple of weeks ago, I watched a Sex and the City episode, in which Charlotte, in her never-ending quest to find true love, attends a seminar to teach her how to do just that.

She drags Carrie along, who scoffs at the whole thing. She thinks both the women who got sucked into attending and the seminar leader are sad and ridiculous.

To attract the right men, the crowd is counseled to use affirmations, which Carrie finds preposterous. These suckers actually think they're going to meet guys by reciting a string of useless words!

During the presentation, Charlotte raises her hand to ask the leader a question. She says something like, "I've been using my affirmations, but I still haven't found the right one."

Slightly annoyed, the leader says, you have to get out there, you have to love yourself, and so on.

Carrie grabs the mic from Charlotte and insists, "She is out there."

The leader says something, but Carrie drowns her out, "She is out there."

As far as Carrie's concerned, the seminar is a scam. There are probably no decent men left on the planet. The good ones are married, and the rest have issues.

Now, I enjoy watching Sex and the City. It's fun. It's light. It takes my mind off more serious things.

But it is not real life!

Carrie may discount the power of affirmations, but I didn't. If you aim to attract a wonderful man, you shouldn't, either.

They work.

Even better, they're free.

Indeed, they are one of the most important methods I used to attract the right man for me (who I've been happily married to for almost 13 years).

After years of dating losers, schmoozers, and No-Show Joes, I attracted a loyal, loving, reliable, successful, fun man by using affirmations.

If you want to attract a man who is worthy of you, who will add to your happiness, then decide what qualities you want in a man and write an affirmation in the present tense:

I am happily married to (or in a relationship with) a ____, ____, _____, ______ man.

Write it ten times a day. Recite it in the shower. Repeat it to yourself as you're falling asleep at night.

Give it time. You could start attracting better men within weeks. If you've been hurt or have trouble trusting men, it will take more time.

But keep it up. Keep it to yourself. You'll find out that it's worth it.

By all means, keep watching Sex and the City. Just remember that it's fiction. Few people, men or women, actually behave like its characters in Manhattan or anywhere else.



About the author:
Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams. Visit her website at http://www.marrysmart.com



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